2MCR Macarthur 100.3 FM

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We’ve got a picture of you in the toilet just after the spaff hit your face. LAUGHS AUDIENCE LAUGHS ALL LAUGH We’re not even ten minutes in. I’m enjoying this. AUDIENCE LAUGHS Your thing that you miss the most is wanking, when you broke your arms. I didn’t say it was the thing I missed the most. I’m desperate to masturbate! LAUGHS I tell you what. On Celebrity Juice we’re about making dreams come true. So, because Ed no longer can masturbate with his broken arm LAUGHTER ..and then to say thanks for coming on the show, I’ve got you a special gift. Right. TRUMPET FANFARE LAUGHTER So, they This is a LAUGHTER This is the Celebrity Juice hands-free wanking device. And I’ve already taken this to Dragons’ Den. I don’t know if it’s gonna be in the next series. But if you endorse it, it could well work. LOUIS: Unbelievable. Should we try it on? Yeah. Yeah, let’s do it. Aah! LAUGHTER It’s a bit tight, hold on. That’s to spit in, which goes down there. AUDIENCE LAUGHS BOTH LAUGH No, no, no, you LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH LAUGHS There’s the pleasurising arm. OK. And there’s the arm that’s gonna catch the residue. How do I do it? Well, you, you spit down there and nod your head. AUDIENCE LAUGHS AUDIENCE APPLAUDS LOUIS: OH. Yeah? APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH Ed, before you were a famous person, you did an audition for a part in a series called Britannia High. Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. You’re gonna show the clip. Have we got a clip? Of course you do. ! We ain’t got a clip. You definitely do. I know you do. Why am I talking about it if we ain’t got a clip? Oh, have you got a still? Haven’t got a still. So, The Kammy, Yes. I’m sorry, I’ll introduce you properly. IT’S CHRIS KAMARA! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Chris. APPLAUSE CONTINUES Would you like to see the clip. LET’S HAVE A LOOK! ALL LAUGH WOMAN: ..As each episode of Britannia High featured difficult choreography some were clearly going to struggle. Ed hasn’t a clue what he’s doing, but he’s trying. I’m just trying to really get it in my head.

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