ABC Northern Tasmania

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She chews the sugar cane and then the banana! I picked up the banana instead of the sugar cane, I was so confused. Bitch, did you get any sleep last night? So is it a banana or a sugar cane? That was on purpose, right? Once upon a time, there was this albino crocodile. But one day she gets bullied by many green crocodiles. And this fairy godmother. This fairy godmother just appeared. Then one day she was asked by this fairy godmother, if you clean the swamp, if you clean the lake, I will turn you into a green fabulous beautiful crocodile, and then she cleaned. So Jaja was speaking English, blah blah, about a crocodile in a desert here there and everywhere. No one laughed. Hello! My name is Annee. I got a story to tell you! Oh! Hello, pretty big sister in green! And that handsome big brother. Are you a Chinese monk? Everyone here reminds me of my little sister. She looks slightly like a horse. She thinks that she’s Nicki Minaj of Thailand! But I would love to know who gave her that title. Did she come up with that herself? I think she looks like Manee the Horseface Girl. And that’s what I wanted to tell her. Byebye. How dramatic. Was that like a story? Wasn’t it supposed to be a fairy tale? It just felt like she missed her friend. *T: This is a pun, Grindr sounds like “far-away” in a Thai. Once upon a time, there was a queen from a far away planet called Grindr. So I was so prepared. I practiced in front of a mirror. I thought this line or that line would be funny. But once I started, it was crickets. She traveled to a very comfortable world. “Hello, I’m not that rich.” “I’m only a queen.” Like you could hear the goddamn air conditioner. I think she missed her stop. “I think–” “That maybe this isn’t my world.” “I think it’s time for me to return to my planet.” “To take care of the people of my planet. Amadiva should go back to her planet too. “Alright.” “I think my time is up.” It’s not over yet. “Oh, it’s not over yet!” “But I can leave before my time is over, right?” Yes. There’s no need for the suspense for the end.

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