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Coffee, eggs Coffee, egg and Oh, no. Porridge. Porridge. That’s correct! BELL DINGS AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Ed Sheeran, everyone! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Oh, all right, then! And the scores at the end of that round are sha-ting! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Ed, you’re private when it comes to your love life, aren’t you? Erm, but last series, someone came on the show and admitted that they’d shagged ya. We’ve got a picture. You and Mr Blunt! Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were lovers for a while? He was catching, I was pitching. ALL LAUGH Was he on last season? He isn’t actually my boyfriend, if anyone LAUGHTER But, yeah. In case anyone thinks Just making He’s a good-looking fellow? Lovely. Would you? No. We’re mates. off. You would. No, I wouldn’t. Oh, he did that show with you. We went out and got very drunk You got drunk? Yes. I used to do that sort of thing. Very boring as now. She stopped getting drunk when she got off with me when she were pissed. Sucked it and choked on it, like one of those s. GAGGING Do you admit it? I could be the drunkest pisshead in the world and it would still never, ever happen. Once she put her tongue in me bum, which I’m not into. ALL LAUGH I’m, I’m an old-fashioned lover. I like missionary position, cuddle afterwards, wipe it up with a flannel watch Kardashians. AUDIENCE LAUGHS Who’s ever met Phillip Schofield, here? Yeah. You met Phillip Schofield? Enough times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He’s mad. Yeah. He is. Cos he’s a guy. Well, I’ve come up with a game that’s very similar to a game that Phillip Schofield does. But it’s totally different, because it’s named after a better shape, and I’ve called it MAN ANNOUNCING: ‘The Circle.’ AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Hi. Welcome to my brand-new show, The Circle. ‘The Circle.’ Which is nothing like The Cube because it is, in actual fact, a circle. ‘The Circle.’ The rules for The Circle ‘The Circle.’ The rules for The Circle ‘The Circle.’ All you’ve got to do is stay within the circle. ‘The Circle.’



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