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LAUGHTER First up to play The Circle ‘The Circle.’ First up to enter my circle ‘The Circle.’ OH, SHUT UP! ‘I’m just trying to do my job.’ LAUGHTER AUDIENCE APPLAUDS First up to enter The Circle is Fearne Cotton. AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS FEARNE: Thanks very much. Welcome. Stand by the side of The Circle. If Phillip’s is called The Cube, shouldn’t it be The Sphere? What’s a sphere? Oh, it. AUDIENCE LAUGHS OK, so step into The Circle. Remember, we’re best friends these days. Yeah. We’re good friends. We really like each other. All you’ve gotta do is stay in The Circle. I’m in it. All you gotta do. Shall I take a stance like that? It’s up to you. Just stay in The Circle. Are you gonna speak to me? I don’t know. WHISTLES A TUNE AUDIENCE LAUGHS NADIA: What is it? Do I take some paper? AUDIENCE LAUGHS That’s mildly annoying. You’ve done worse. INCREASES SPEED OF MOTOR YES! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS NADIA: Hold your ground, Fearne, hold your ground. Go, girl! You can do it. Still in The Circle. AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS I mean, that was quite annoying. Not like having kitchen roll around you when you’re having chips, just in case you drop a chip and a bit of grease gets on you. Oh, right. Would you like a chip? Yeah, I’d love one. Thanks. Do you want some more chips? Er, yeah, why not? They’re quite nice, actually. AUDIENCE REACTS AUDIENCE APPLAUDS She’s still in The Circle! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS I’m still here. SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY Thanks. They are, aren’t they? I’m still here. Gonna annoy me some more? Let’s, let’s have, let’s have a little kiss. Oh, I’m all right, thanks. I’ll get out. AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AUDIENCE CHEERS You stayed in The Circle. Fearne Cotton, everyone! AUDIENCE CHEERS Next to come in my circ I won’t say “next to come in my circle.” Next to play The Circle is Christopher Ramsey! AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS Go on, pop yourself in. There, you’re in, you’re in. Easy, innit? All you gotta do is stay in. So easy. What the hell, man? WHISTLES A TUNE SQUEAKING



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