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Well, I’m awfully sorry, but I was sure you’d be away and I . Well, I accepted an invitation to go with Horatio. Horatio. Kellgore? Well, yes. You see . Oh, I’m sorry. Now, please try to understand. Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly. Oh, Jonathan. Bye. Well, here we are. Dean Updike, of course, and Mrs. Updike, Professor Adams, the principal and, Virginia, I want you to sit there, and of course, I shall occupy the speaker’s chair. Is everything satisfactory, Professor Kellgore? Oh, yes. Yes, it seems to be. Of course, this is a very special occasion, you understand. I want everything exactly right. I’ve made myself personally responsible. Of course. Perhaps I may have the waiter bring you a cocktail before the others arrive? No, no. It might relax me too much. Have to make a speech right after dinner. Yes. Good evening. Hello. Hi, Dad. Hello, Professor Fenster. Hello, Jimmy. Hello, Cynthia. Just in time, James. Good evening, Cynthia. I’m so sorry your uncle won’t be able to make it tonight. Better check the wine. Oh, but he’s back. I told him to meet us here. I know, dear, but when I talked to h im on the phone just now, he said he was too exhausted from his tri p, that he wouldn’t come. Virginia, would you check the guest list? It’s a good thing, if you ask me. What do you mean? Well, we all want everythi to be nice for the dean’s farewell dinner, don’t we? Are you implying that my Uncle Jonathan . Look, don’t get be nt out of shape. Your uncle’s okay. I guess. But everybody kno he’s a little bit kooks. Kooks! Yeah. Well, like that night he chased us in Professor Fenster’s car. And, well, you heard about those mice, didn’t you? Jimmy Kellgore, if you . Oh, forget it. Let’s sit down, huh? James? Yeah, Dad? Would you come here? Excuse me. Yeah, Dad? Now, James, I want to caution you about the way you behave tonight. No raucousness or ungentlemanly behavior. Oh, sure, Dad. This is a very important evening, you understand. The dean still hasn’t named a successor, and his decision could stand or fall on the impression that I create at the dinner. Understand? I dig. Don’t . Speak English. Oh, dear. Good evening, my dear Dean. Professor. Good evening . Oh! Mrs. Updike. May I say that you look dangerously lovely this evening? Professor Kellgore, you say the most awful things. It was very nice of you to preside tonight, Kellgore. Well, when I heard that Professor Jones would be absent, I felt that someone had to take things in hand. Yes, quite so. Poor Jones. Excellent man, really, but . I’m sorry, my dear, I didn’t mean to . That’s all right, sir. Shall we sit down? The others should be along presently. Dean, the chair of honor, of course. There you are Get out of the way, will you? Mrs. Updike, would you grace our table with your radiance? Charmed. “When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes “I all alone beweep my outcast state.” Here’s how. “And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries, “and look upon myself, and curse my fate.” Oh . And speaking of our beloved dean’s regretted departure from our midst I would like to borrow an aphorism from the works of the



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