Radio Velvet Deluxe

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not reflect his beauty back to him. That look Radios That look was called “EI Niño”. But, honestly, I’ve never heard of Steve. Countless lives throughout history have been lost to make sure of that. Evil forces have hunted his offspring for centuries. For the legend states that if you wrench the still-beating heart from the gorgeous body of a true descendent of Steve and drink its blood, you will obtain eternal beauty. So the Fountain of Youth is not a fountain at all. The Fountain of Youth is Radios A person. And not just anyone. A direct descendent of Steve. The Chosen One. How do you know all this? Because I, and many rock stars like me, are his protectors. You see, there are only a few genes that separate the greatest rock stars in history from male models. Which genes are those? The ones for talent and intelligence. Of course. We were entrusted to protect the Chosen Ones. But who is the Chosen One? We believe it is your son. And that he is in grave danger. But he’s back at the school! We have to get to him before something terrible happens to him! No. Wait. Hansel. Look into my eyes. Is there anything you want to ask me? Anything at all? Do you really have for ten hours? No comment. Fifteen. Farewell, my handsome boy. Farewell. Good-bye, Sting. Bolt cutters! He’s gone! It’s like no one was ever here. It was a wig. What? It was a wig the whole time. That was a wig? That Headmaster wasn’t a good guy at all! No! No! No! No! Derek! Derek, relax! Don’t do it. When you want to go to it. Filippo. Si. I need you to pull up everything you have on the man who was arrested back in for brainwashing Zoolander. Facial scans to be cross-referenced with security footage of the headmaster of the orphanage. It’s a positive I.D. The Headmaster didn’t have a name or papers. Oh, my God. It’s the evil breakdancing DJ. He was arrested with Mugatu and his accomplice back in . It’s Katinka Ingaborgovinananananana. Where are they now? Ingaborgovinanananana disappeared off the grid. It looks like the Evil DJ came through the Swiss border with forged papers about three weeks ago. I suppose they could have Radios Driven to Rome and kidnapped Derek’s son. Exactly! Which means the person behind all of this is Radios Who? Who? Who are we talking about? Mugatu’s in there. For ten years, there has only been one name on the list of visitors that he will allow. Thank you. For what? For helping us. When I was a little girl growing up in Albacete, my room was covered in pictures of Derek Zoolander. The most amazing model alive. Except I’m not one anymore. My son called me a has-been. I’m a has-been. What kind of has-been were you? I was a swimsuit model. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I was never able to transition to print or runway. To your world of high fashion. Because of these. These intrusive, oversized naturals. These things could never fit into a sample size. Gross. You need to go for this now Radios Not later. Now. Hansel, are you serious? Yes. While Matilda lies warm in her grave? Matilda’s been dead for years. You need to move on. Honestly, by now she’s just a couple of teeth. A piece of spine. Maybe a little skull fragment, like that guy from Tales from the Crypt. The Crypt Keeper. Hansel, stop it! I’m not ready. The world’s most notorious fashion criminals are in there. Be careful, Derek. He’ll try to get inside your head. Don’t worry. It’s closed for business. Give ’em hell, Derek. You’re goin’ down, Zoolander! You’re goin’ down, listen to me! You better listen to the Hammer! Can’t touch this! No! No! Zoolander can’t touch Mugatu! No! Shut up, Hammer! Members Only. Members Only. Epaulettes are not a crime. Smart casual. Smart casual. You can’t touch him! Mr. Hammer is wrong! Derek Zoolander. I’ve been expecting you. What have you done with my son? Hands. Our most overrated appendage. When not allowed the use of them, you’d be surprised how quickly feet can be trained to do the exact same thing. Your son is doing wonderfully. From what the school tells my offshore accountant Radios He’s incredibly smart. Your accountant? Who do you think paid for that fancy orphanage? When he was taken away from you, someone had to make sure he got his eight square meals a day. Eight? You bastard! I’m sorry. I’d love to keep talking about this, but I seem to have developed a nasty itch. I’d ask you to scratch it for me, but no doubt you’d think I was just trying to trick you. Or you’re trying to make me think I shouldn’t help you. In which case, I should do the opposite of that and help you. Or don’t help me. I think that’s even a better option. You’re trying to switch it around on me, but I won’t take the bait. Sorry, Mugatu. I’m going with my first instinct. And helping you. I really wish you wouldn’t. Too late. The die is cast. I’d prefer that you didn’t. I’m going to do it. Please don’t. Let me go! Not until you untie my straitjacket and put it on, okay? If I do, will you let me go? No! Which means you will let me go. So I’ll do it. Oh, my gosh. Okay! Check and mate, Mugatu. Your move. You really are an idiot, aren’t you? Like, super, super white hot, blazingly stupid. For ten long years Radios I’ve been plotting my escape from this dreadful place. For ten long years. For ten long years. Ten years spent creating some of the most realistic and lifelike masks Radios Radios ever made. One for you. And one for me. All so that today Radios Radios you can become me! And I can become Radios Radios you! That’s it? You’ll never get away with this. All of the guards here are former male models. Somehow I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. Guard! Guard! Will that be all, Mr. Zoolander? That will be all. No! No! Come back here, Mugatu! Mugatu! Go get Derek! What? Go get Derek! And tell my orgy I love them! Todd! Where’s my goddamn latte? Oh, and, um, here. What’s that? I missed you, too. Alexanya! Moo-Moo! Alexanya! Oh, no. Hey, sorry to interrupt. What? Don Atari, what are you doing here? Don’t you knuck? Mugatu? What? No way, dude. I thought you were supposed to be in jail, dude. You’re like some dangerous criminal that tried to assassinate


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